A Mix of Emotions...

I'm so excited! When I weighed-in at Weight Watchers this morning, I had lost another 7.5 pounds - that's a total of 15! I accredit this to a combination of FORCED positive thinking and a concious awareness of what I'm eating. For two weeks now, I have journaled everything that has gone into my mouth. I haven't had a soda since I began, and I've been mindful to stay within my POINTS range. That being said... There IS something that's bugging me.

About a month ago, my mom, sister, and I got into a huge fight. Here's the background: I have a friend with whom I have been friends for several years. She is married, and has four children. As is expected in a small town... rumors began to circulate that my friend and I were having an affair... that she was just using me as a free babysitter... that she was encouraging me to drink and do other things that I wouldn't otherwise do.

However... despite popular belief, none of these things are true. My friend and I are just that... friends. We share a connection kindled by her oldest son, whom I met at our old church. Nevertheless, my mom and sister are dead-set on harassing my friend and her family. They began calling her named and even contacting her mother-in-law at work, spreading these very lies and rumors. I finally had enough... I blew up at both of them and demanded that they back off. My plan to rectify the situation blew up in my face. Later that day, they payed an unwelcomed visit to my friend's house and - to make a long story short - the law became envolved and my mom and sister were warned not to bother my friend's family again.

That night, I recieved messages from both my mom and sister telling me how sick I am... how much of a disappointment I am... how I don't deserve them... how I have ruined their lives and my own. Mind you, I expected nothing less from my sister, who is jealous of anyone who is happy with their life. But my own mother... Well, after the sadness had passed I decided to move along and proceed with the rest of my life. But... my mom continues to buy things for me and leave them with my dad. She tells him to tell me how much she loves me and how she wishes I would talk to her... What am I supposed to do? I'm afraid to get too close to her again, only to face more pain and hurt.

Anyone care to comment?

Initiatory Post...

It's been a while since I last blogged... Hmm... What to say, what to say? Well, I could begin by bragging on myself! About 3 weeks ago, I decided to begin making some positive changes in my life. I joined Weight Watchers, and in my first week... I lost 8 pounds! I can't wait to weigh-in tomorrow to see how much I've lost this week. I also joined the Fitness Center in Portal. I am determined to persevere and continue on my quest for change.

Other than that... I recently enrolled in Ogeechee Technical College! Beginning at the end of this month (September 29), I will be pursuing AAS in Criminal Justice. My goal is to, after receiving the degree, seek employment in the field of social work. It sounds much cooler as I'm typing it than just "thinking" about it.

Well, that's about it! I'll do a few "brain dumps" on here every now-and-again to keep you posted on what's going on in my mind.

Until then...
B~